. . . writing every day

I have a new goal, which I am very excited about. So, I’m a writer, right? And when people find out, one of the most common things that people ask is, “Do you write every day?” I always scrunch up my face and make some bumbling reply about how I don’t have time and how the time between writing sessions actually helps me just as much as my actual writing sessions. The time helps my ideas to coalesce. Or some shit.

About six weeks ago I was invited to join a playwriting workshop. I jumped at the chance since I’ve been living in this the theatrical center of the world for nearly six months and have probably written a total of ten pages. I had had a new play kicking around in my head for a while, so I decided this would be a great time to dive in and actually write the thing. Yay!

So fast forward to last Thursday night. I have 60 pages of a new play that terrifies me in its honesty. One of the members of my group, Quincy, is a fairly accomplished playwright (much more so than I am, anyway). He is a real writer. He has no other job besides writing. How cool is that? The play he is working on in this workshop is whimsical and beautiful and poetic and weird and absolutely entertaining. We were discussing process, and our humble leader posed the question: “Quincy, do you write every day?”  He goes “yup.” For how long? “Three hours.” THREE HOURS. And our workshop leader says he usually spends about two. Or in the summers (he’s a professor) sometimes twice a day, but only two hours at a time. THAT’S FOUR HOURS IN ONE DAY.

I was also thinking about a long discussion a good friend and artistic colleague and I had about becoming an expert. They did a bunch of studies on people who are certifiable experts at things. First chair violinists. Pulitzer Prize winning writers. Prima Ballerinas. And what they had in common wasn’t natural talent or starting at age two-and-a-half, or a crazy intense drive to make it or anything as mystical and unpredictable as that. It was simply that they had spent about 10,000 hours on whatever it is they had perfected.

I write in long spurts. I blame it on the fact that I probably have ADD. That I can’t focus, and I can’t focus, and then I hyper focus. I also procrastinate, and therefore find myself power-writing and power-editing for a deadline. I’m a binge writer. And despite this, I eventually am able to put together dialogue and ideas in a believable and interesting way, and create plays that people find compelling and discussion-worthy. Which is pretty amazing, if you think about it. Especially considering that some people write three hours a day. Then I began to calculate how many days at the rate I’m going it would take to be an expert, and how many it would for Quincy. Though I suppose he’s way past the ten year mark. And  I realized I’ll  probably be dead before I reach ten thousand hours.

So I decided. I have moved across this great country to pursue a writing career. I say it all the time and I’ve been saying it for almost exactly a year. But, now that I’m here, what I actually do is work long-ass ugly hours in a long-ass ugly dress and ugly shoes. I get on the subway before the sun comes up and I get back on it after it has gone down. I avoid doing the dishes and I annoy my boyfriend with my whining and my fatigue. I lament having left my friends and family behind. I go to readings and plays and talk about all the reasons why this play or that scene is shit. I am incredulous as to how so and so got his or her shit play produced and I can’t even get mine read. (I also, for the record, revere the great plays I see and enjoy the new friends I’ve made and the new knowledge I’ve gained, but that isn’t my point.) My point is that the least I can do having moved here as a writer, is to fucking write! How can I ever expect to have any fulfillment as an artist much less success without really committing to this?? I cannot! So my new goal is simple. Write Every Day. Write something. Sit in front of my computer and stare at a scene. Muse. Edit! Write a scene that will never end up in the play. Write a poem. I’m starting small: one hour a day. Even if I don’t accomplish anything in that amount of time. In the words of Quincy, “the muse likes to see you in the chair.”

So here goes. Some days it may be impossible. But I would rather fail at this than make excuses about why I never had any success as a writer. Wish me luck!